07 May Why God Leaves Us in Doubt
When Jesus rose again on the first day of the week, he appeared to the women, and then to two disciples on the road to Emmaus. Then later that day he appeared to the apostles, except that Thomas was missing when he appeared. But it was one week later that Jesus appeared to the apostles again, and this time Thomas was there. In that passage in John 20, we have the famous story about Thomas from which he obtains his nickname, ‘doubting Thomas.’
But think about it. When Jesus died, the disciples were heartbroken, but on the third day they were filled with joy. But not Thomas. He had no joy, and his doubts continued for another seven days. So it was a total of ten days that Thomas was left with his struggle, his doubts and his worries. In fact its amazing Thomas was even present with the others ten days later, given what he must have been wrestling with in his heart.
So why did the Lord not seek to help Thomas out a little earlier? Why did he not appear just a day later? Or why did he not appear separately to Thomas and give him his own resurrection experience? Why wait a whole extra week? Did Jesus not care about Thomas?
We can ask a lot of questions like these, but in the end we conclude that Christ did care for Thomas. And because he cared, it must have been good to leave Thomas doubt for that lengthier period of time.
Later in life, Thomas proved to be someone with great resolve. He went off the edge of the map in terms of the Roman Empire, travelling to Anatolia, then Armenia, and then eventually spending twenty years in ministry in India. It is said he planted seven churches in India, and some believers today trace their Christian roots back to Thomas. One day while kneeling in prayer on a small mountain overlooking villages below, Thomas was speared to death by opponents. This mountain today is the Mount of St Thomas and has a chapel on the top, which receives many tourists. The wording written over the door of the chapel is “My Lord and My God.” Those were the words spoken by Thomas when he finally saw the Lord after his ten days of doubts. His lengthy struggle with doubt ended up being good for his soul, and cured him of ever doubting again.
Exactly why the Lord leaves us in our struggles is at times confusing. Why did the Lord cause Job to suffer? Why did the Lord forbid Jeremiah from marrying? Why did the Lord ask Hosea to marry a prostitute? There are many whys. But the Lord knows both what is good for us as people, and also what good can come through us as servants of the Lord. And so like Thomas in the end, we too trust Him, even if we cannot see.